Dealing with your own inadequacy

I was never as confident in my English speaking abilities as I was prior to living in Glasgow. Language came easily to me. In school, I was the obnoxious one, ahead without even trying.

Moving to a country where English* is the native language means you’ll improve your speaking skills quickly. The flip side is that you simultaneously face reality, where you’re actually not as good as you thought you were. As a matter of fact, you kinda do sound like the Swedish chef.

Now, with the self-imposed pressure of publishing a post per day, no excuses, I’m at the same point with my writing. I have to face how far I have to go before I’m even close to where I want to be. I cringe when I read what I published the day before.

I cringe, maybe facepalm a little, then I suck it up and move on.

What fascinates me about this challenge is how I thought it would be about improving my writing and edit faster, but after almost a month, that’s not been the toughest part. Sure, I can get a post written and published in a couple of hours, significantly faster than before. Is it what I want it to be, though? Nope. Nein. Nej. Not even close.

The most important lesson has been to accept yesterday wasn’t what I wanted it to be, to let go, and focus on today. It’s a blog. It’s practice. And it’s okay for it to be cringe-worthy because I know it can be better. That’s progress even when it doesn’t feel like it.

Also, for anyone else in the same position, I always recommend these words of encouragement from Ira Glass.


*Yes, Scottish is English, it just has some character, ok.