How To Not Be An Ass When Flying

How To Not Be An Ass When Flying

Let's talk some common decency, people. I've been flying a lot this past year and even though I try to avoid wasting energy with being annoyed over things I can't control, like my fellow passengers, I do have a few suggestions on how to make everybody else's lives a little bit nicer.

Protect your seat buddies necks

The one time I managed to get business class tickets and got to drink red wine from a real glas on the flight Manilla-London.
The one time I managed to get business class tickets and got to drink red wine from a real glas on the flight Manilla-London.

When getting up or in your seat, use your own seat for support instead of the defenseless person in front of you. Some flights I swear the person behind me is deliberately trying to give me a whiplash injury.

If we are being honest here, it's not that difficult to shift your body to the side and use your own backrest for support. If you're older or for some reason aren't able to move around freely, that's fine. But if you're being lazy - just show some respect, man.

Earplugs are your best friends

Bring proper earplugs for ignore screaming kids rather than give them the evil death stare. Or "passive aggressive headache", as I like to call it. Usually, the parents are trying everything they can, but sometimes kids are just evil monsters possessed by demonic forces and you muttering behind their back doesn't do anyone any good. And if earplugs don't do the trick, plug in your headphones, listen to My Dad Wrote A Porno, and you'll forget all about it.

(Unless the parents are assholes who takes no responsibility for their kids. In that case, feel free to stare at them.)

Choose your battles

Aerial views
Aerial views

Remember there are more people than you on the flight. If you're checking in your luggage and have some overweight, the staff makes you repack. Come on people, you know the rules. Sometimes they let you get away with it, but causing a scene, asking to speak to the managers' manager while twenty frustrated people are standing behind you when they enforce these rules, that's just stupid. And you probably won't get what you wanted anyway. Be a nice fellow passenger, prepare your shit and listen to the staff. Bitching about how unfair it is, well, that's what Facebook and Twitter are for.

Don't be Bob

Please dear god prepare yourself for security. You know exactly who I'm talking about. Let's call him Bob.

Bob is so busy in the security line, looking at his phone and answering super important emails, that he's always slightly confused when it's time to pack up your things. So he starts digging around for his computer, pulling everything out, and taking forever. When the staff asks him for any other items, he suddenly remembers, "that's right, I have a bottle of water in here". Find it, throws it out. The staff then sees a large tube of toothpaste. "Sorry, not allowed", they say, and Bob frowns. He starts arguing. "It's not even half full!" And of course that doesn't matter, and eventually, he has to cave while grunting and muttering to himself. When he's finally through, 15 minutes and three anxiety attacks from stressed passengers later, the line is five times longer than it had to be if Bob could just get his shit together.

Don't be Bob.

Anyone want to add some helpful advice for our fellow travelers out there?

I freelance with online communication, project management and content production.

Mostly location independent, originally from Sweden, calls Berlin home and travel more than I intend to. See what I’m up to at the moment here.

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